I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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