I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
