I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
