Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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