don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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