I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
