LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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