She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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