I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
