I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize