tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
