OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
And then he peed in my hair
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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