Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
