I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
