need another drink. this is the easiest way
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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