he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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