Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
