At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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