how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
