At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
