you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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