Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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