I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
