i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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