The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
