Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
