It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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