It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
