i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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