I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
try to milk me bitch
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