i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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