every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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