The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
