Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
