Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
