I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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