I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
