you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize