im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
