I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
