Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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