Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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