Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
