everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
