i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.