So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
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I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.