i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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