no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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