I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
