so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
