What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
