How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
