They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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