Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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