Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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