guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
