yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's shark week go big or go home
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