That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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