im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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