i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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