great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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