They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
