never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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