I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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