Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
