I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
