accomplished twins. life is a go
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
