i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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