Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
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Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
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She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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