Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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