I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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