Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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